Back in 1997 I knew what I wanted. Me, looking tough, bad ass tattoos walking down the street with a big ass dog.....spiked collar . I'd have a Mercedes Benz, 1 wife and 2 girlfriends I'd be extremely loyal to. I'd sign with Bone, Master P or Tha Dogg Pound but prefer to keep my options open. My body guards are big and basically every friend I have has a position in my rap empire.
Though I'm loyal to my 3 girls there would be pretty girls around all the time and we'd basically party all day and......I'm not sure. I obviously didn't think it through that much.
20 years ago I had "thug mentality" carved in my arm and today I tuck my shirt in with my pants pulled up. I'm in bed by 10.
Millions of kids fall hook, line and sinker for the shiny dream we see on tv and the pursuit of that life backfired on me. Rap muzik ruined that dream for me and turned me into a guy who NEVER gets mistaken for a rapper but actually has a history of producing rap albums.
Pursuing music ruined my fantasy rap life from 1997 and I couldn't have fathomed the tsunami of nerdy shit I would have to learn before I'd be walking my big dog and jumping out of my Benz.
Slowly I started realizing how much the boring things really matter especially in the pursuit of a rap empire. Any class offered at any school can be applied to this rap shit. Accounting, math, social studies and even home economics. Maybe if I took home ec I wouldn't still be eating things over the trashcan and I'd be able to cook more than cereal. Bam! Money saved, that's accounting, more money for the rap empire.
To rap you have to be able to speak and write, or that's how it used to be before mumble rap, but a dictionary is crucial. Words are weapons. If you learn to speak, use words correctly and never sell a single record everyone STILL wins. Another articulate person is in the community.
I started realizing I was undisciplined, unhealthy, had no work ethic, was unfocused, terrible with money, time, resources and spent much more time partying like a rapstar than actually producing anything that resembled art.
Once I got close enough to peer behind the curtain and saw through the bullshit I was able to see it looked a lot more like regular life.
I had to sort myself out in order to produce music and am sure glad I don't have the 1997 version of what I thought I wanted.
In the pursuit of my big diamond encrusted No Limit medallion I learned a lot. The first shocker was that I don't even really like rap music. My mom would say, "you don't like Warren G, you like Michael McDonald."..."you don't like Snoop Dogg you like George Clinton."
Of course what the hell did she know but as I've gone back seeing what song came from where over the years I've realized she was right. I just love music.
Rap Muzik ruined my fantasy but rap music somehow turned me into a productive member of society. I'm a better for myself, my family, friends and community because of rap music and became part of the solution instead of adding to the problem.
My 2018 rap life looks nothing like the 1997 version. Today I'm smarter, not tougher. Purposely never got tattoos to be different and the absence of a giant face tattoo has kept me employable. That's always good because after "Late Bloomer" drops I better get my resume together.